In order for a child to be happy, sometimes a little unhappiness is necessary.
Every parent wants their child to be happy. For this, we try to give them everything – often even beyond our means. And of course, we find it difficult to accept situations when the child is angry or sad.
However, according to child psychologist Tovah Klein, author of the book How Toddlers Thrive, the key to raising a happy child is to allow them to be unhappy sometimes, reports cnbc.com.
Accepting negative emotions is important
When a child is upset or sad, parents often instinctively cheer them up. It is not uncommon for them to be given a piece of candy or distracted with something else. If the source of the sadness is something trivial – for example, the child is not allowed to watch another cartoon or there is no time to go to the playground – it is almost certain that the parent does not deal with the initial situation and prefers distracting the child.
However, if it becomes common to try to cheer up the little one as soon as possible, to divert their attention to something joyful, then the child may feel over time that a negative reaction is inappropriate, and they will not learn to deal with these feelings.
Putting negative feelings into words
It is already worth experimenting with a preschooler by asking them to take a deep breath and try to put his feelings into words. When they are still very young, you can help them by acknowledging their feelings and trying to express them.
The strength of the method lies in the fact that the child will be able to experience these intense emotions, such as anger, and then learn to manage them. Meanwhile, they also experience that even though they are angry, their mother and father are still by their side, they are not angry with him, according to Tovah Klein.
How to raise a happy child
As a parent, it is important to be aware that the child’s negative feelings will pass – of course, we are talking about ordinary, non-traumatic experiences. If the family is emotionally healthy, the child will be basically happy.
Also, those children who learn to deal effectively with their negative feelings have a good chance of becoming happy adults who are more flexible and more easily adaptable to life’s changes.
Fear of negative feelings can lead to long-term behavioral problems. Children can be ashamed of these feelings, and they can develop a lack of self-confidence because of them: “I’m angry, I must be bad. There must be something wrong with me.”
Therefore, it is important as a parent to accept that not only adults, but also children cannot be happy 0-24 hours a day.