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Sunday, March 3, 2024

Lessons in love from a grandmother: “My advice to you, dear granddaughter”

In my teenage days I thought that romantic love with the man of my life was the source of happiness in life. All the years I have lived since then, however, have brought me countless kinds of loves and lessons that have enriched my soul, offered me a ray of light in the darkness and taught me to embrace my sorrows. Love, my dear, is the divine lesson and the ultimate power in this life that now seems so short.

Several decades have passed since my hair has turned grey, since I overcame the fears of old age, since I accepted my physical pains and more, since my vital energy translates into emotions.

And in the meantime, I have learned…

… To embrace change.

To find peace, tranquility and joy in a world I couldn’t understand all the time was the slalom of my maturity. And that’s what I wish for you too, my dear granddaughter, to be able to draw strength from life’s pains, to be able to adapt to overcome obstacles, to regard change as a challenge and an opportunity to stay on your path. Change takes us out of our comfort zone, but it is not bad. It is normal.

… To love my family.

While in my youth I mostly saw the imperfections in my relationships with other family members, over time I began to notice only the good in these relationships. Then I went from being an observer to a an active participant, as I began to grow and develop all that was beautiful and good in these relationships. Today I can say that I was incredibly lucky to have such a beautiful family and to be so loved. And that’s how I hope you feel too!

… To truly love and forgive.

The loves of my adolescence and early youth were truly tempestuous. After each breakup I felt hatred, jealousy, desire for revenge, desire for the other to regret breaking up with me, as if I could be the only extraordinary woman in his life. Well, I wasn’t. In fact, I could say that every woman is extraordinary in her own way. Over time I have learned to forgive and gently accept that at some point I am no longer the right person for someone else. And vice versa. All those negative feelings only hurt me more, so I had to give them up.

… To love harmony and take care of the mental state of my loved ones.

It’s incredibly valuable to make a short phone call and let the other person know that you’re thinking of them; it’s incredibly valuable to show a little attention to make the other person feel loved. It’s incredibly valuable to think about how my loved ones around me feel when I take certain actions. I have learned not to argue in front of the children, but also not to avoid difficult conversations with my husband. I accepted that we are two different people and therefore, from time to time, we think differently and have concepts that are no longer common. This makes us unique, and the way we accept and embrace our differences demonstrates our love.

I’ve learned to never leave without kissing my children, even if they are sleeping. To hug them when they need it and give them all my love even when they reject it. For these will be the moments they will remember later as adults when they go through hard times and their emotional baggage will bring back the memory of love.

Yes, perhaps one of the most important lessons of love that I want to pass on is that we should always take care of the mental and emotional state of our loved ones. And it’s not the least bit strange that all this becomes reciprocal over time.

… To love myself

For me it has been a long journey to discover myself, to find my inner identity and values, to come to forgive and love myself. To appreciate myself, to take care of myself, to give myself permission to stop. To learn to put myself first from time to time. To give myself time to take care of my beauty and health. And that’s what I wish for you too, my dear granddaughter, to never forget what a wonderful being you are and to never give up on following your dreams.

… To love the best in people.

I am able to speak today about the power of friendship because I have learned the lesson of knowing people, which comes with disappointment, betrayal, revenge, rejection and ignorance. But I have also been lucky to meet many wonderful people, with whom I felt an amazing connection and from whom I have learned so much. It’s good to gift people with our openness, as that’s the only way to get to know them better.

Source: Garbo

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