How important is it to celebrate Valentine’s Day, and what can those who find themselves without a partner on the holiday of lovers do? Do couples also feel the “holiday pressure”?
The history of Valentine’s Day
The day of lovers is becoming increasingly widespread around the world. The name comes from Saint Valentine, the patron saint of lovers, from whose legend Valentine’s Day originates in Western culture.
In many cases, couples give each other gifts on this day: most men give beautiful flowers, delicious desserts or other gifts to women, but as is customary, ladies also surprise their partners. On February 14th, we are supposed to celebrate love. Of course, not everyone is disposed to do so – Valentine’s Day is divisive even among those in relationships, as there are people who consider it as a financial drain, another commercial exploitation, while others may say that they treat each other well all year round, and for them this day is not extraordinary at all. However, those who want to make this day special for their loved ones are often at a loss about how exactly to celebrate.
Is it important to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Psychologists agree that it is always important to express our feelings for the other, not only on Valentine’s Day, but every and any day. It is not Valentine’s Day that is important, but to do something concrete for our relationship and show our love in various ways.
It is a misconception that love just happens, that relationships work by themselves. We have this expectation of a miracle, that everything will be fine without any work. If we celebrate Valentine’s Day just because it is fashionable, it will probably lack any magic. What is really important is to make it a habit to do things for each other not only on special days such as Valentine’s Day, birthdays and Christmas; to strive to make our love life better and more colorful.
Nowadays Valentine’s Day plays a decisive role in the lives of couples. Whether we like it or not, it is still important to think about how we approach this day. For couples who have been together for a long time, it is not so easy to incorporate romance into their everyday life. Celebrating Valentine’s Day can help revive romance and passion, thus contributing to a lasting love.
This special day offers a special opportunity for couples to focus on each other and their feelings for each other. Obviously, however, one day of romance a year is not enough to maintain a close relationship. It also goes without saying that if neither member of the couple really likes Valentine’s Day, agreeing on this can also generate positive feelings towards each other.
What does a love gift say about you?
A gift always tells a lot about the giver. A Valentine’s Day gift is about whether the relationship is important to them and whether they can pay attention to their partner. Routinely purchased gifts can be an embarrassing sign that other things are prioritized over a relationship. How do we choose anyway? Do we know what kind of chocolate our partner likes? What is their favorite flower? What do they want? Getting away from children for a while, and enjoy some adult company? Watch a theater production to unwind? In the best case, a Valentine’s Day gift shows that we primarily see our partner as an adult man/woman with whom we have an intimate physical and spiritual relationship.
In light of the couple’s shared history, a Valentine’s Day gift can serve several functions. It can be used to connect and mend the gaps in a couple’s story. In extreme cases, they try to fill a gaping void, where there should be an emotional bond with teddy bears, jewelry, and flowers.
A prominent Hungarian psychologist of the 20th century, Ferenc Mérei, studied the phenomenon of allusion. He observed that in a group with its own history, one word or one gesture is often enough for the members of the group to recall entire scenes, events charged with emotions. These are events that happened in the group, so the allusion has meaning only for the members of the group. In the best case, Valentine’s Day gifts can play exactly this role. They can be subtle hints full of intimacy that only the couple understands, and which carry meaning for both of them and strengthen their bond.
What should one do on Valentine’s Day if they are single?
One of the mistakes about Valentine’s Day is that it targets couples, even though it is not a celebration of relationships, but of love. What this holiday suggests to singles seems a bit idealized: everything is about hearts, everything is red, everything is perfect. Because of this, they have a harder time, because they can’t call a friend to meet up, because he or she is probably romantically involved with someone.
Singles and not singles alike should understand that Valentine’s Day is about love, not relationships. It is not a tragedy if you are alone on this day. Instead, you should approach its positive side, go to a theater performance, a cultural event, a wine tasting, organize a board game evening, have fun and experience closeness, the joy of company.
This is what the holiday should be about, not about idealizing relationships. February 14th is the holiday of love. You may or may not love it, but one thing is for sure: most of us think about our love lives on this day.
Source: onlinepszichologus.net